In Search of Happiness

 My brain defines my happiness base on what I programs and my input. So the more I input, the more pathways are built and the more wiring happen in my brain.  Listing down moments of happiness will help with my input.  Self- talk. I tell myself what makes me happy. So that my happiness is not determined by others.  I define my happiness as I go along the journey of searching for happiness.  I am happy when:  1. I play card games or board games with my kids  2. My kids bond with their cousins in Malaysia  3. Others say thank you to me  4. Others care about me 

 I imagine the ideal picture of what I want, and I picture my ideals.  The key is as detailed as possible.  They call is visualisation.  Is it true that the brain can’t decipher the reality from imagination?  Or the more we imagine, the more we align our reality to our imagination.  I have started to imagine more often. I am going to imagine my ideal the moment I wake up in the morning, and in the evening before I sleep.  When I imagine my ideal, I become happy.  So that’s 30 seconds of happiness. 

 I needed to leave home at 7 am, hence had to wake up At 0630 am. I woke up at 0600 am instead and my mom was already cooking in the kitchen to prepare breakfast for me.  Breakfast was soup noodle!  When I opened my eyes at 0600 am, I could smell the food.  That was 5 minutes of happiness.  I felt so contended and grateful for having such a mother. 

 Tip 3: build connection with extended family  I am happy when I see my children bond with their cousins. I am happy when I have meaningful conversation with my brother and nieces.  I realised that being with my family make me happy. I left home since 18, and each time I visit my home country, I feel more like a visitor.  I feel supported when I am with my family. 

Tip 2: Accumulate little moments of happiness I watched a Korean drama " My Liberation notes" the actress said, everyday she accumulates moments of happiness, for example, opening a door for a lady and the lady said thank you, thats 3 second of happiness, accumulate 5 minutes of happiness in total a day, is enough to keep her going everyday. It was an epiphany to me.  The next day, i started doing that. Chat with my female colleagues and got to know their life stories, that's 1 minute, played with Levi at the playground that's 1 minute, a clinic purchaser asked if i like pink, thats 3 seconds  by the end of the day, i felt better.  happiness is seldom found in big events because honestly, our lives, most of the time, is routine and mundane.  We don't want to have big events happening every single day of our lives.  happiness manifest in the little moments. Once i am aware of it, i become more conscious the few seconds that i was happy.

 Tip 1: Be a satisficer Maximiser can't be happy, satisficer can.  Maximiser after spending long time comparing for the best bargain in town, after they bought a bag, the nest day, when they walked past a shop and saw another bag, they become unhappy, they regretted their choice, "if only....." Satisficer after they bought their bag, they are very happy and contended Takeaway: want what you have