Happiness come from Solving Problems

 Life is suffering. Life is a series of problems.

To attain happiness, it is about solving problems. 

The secret sauce is in the SOLVING of the problems, not in not having problems in the first place. 

To be happy we need something to solve.

It's an active form,  it's not something that is passively bestowed upon you. 

True happiness occurs only when you find the problems you enjoy having and enjoy solving.

Solve Problems; be happy. 

"I solve your problems so you can be happy. "

Negative emotions are a call to action. When you feel them, its because you're supposed to do something.

Positive emotions, are rewards for taking the proper action.

Just because somethings feel good, doesnt mean it is good. Emotions are merely signposts, suggestions that gives, not commandments.

Make a habit of questioning your emotions, dont trust your emotions.

Pain serves purpose.

Emotions never last. Whatever makes us happy today will no longer make us happy tomorrow, because our biology always needs something more. 

you know who base their entire lives on their emotions?  a 3 year old kid.

A fixation on happiness inevitably amounts to a new-ending pursuirt of "something else" a new house, a new relationship, another child, another pay raise. 

we end up feeling eerily similar to how we started: inadequate.

"hedonic treadmill" : the idea that we're always working hard to change our life situation, but we actually never feel very different.

everything comes with an inherent sacrifice- whatever makes us feel good will also inevitably make us feel bad. What we gain is also what we lose. What creates our positive experiences will define our negative experiences.

Everyone wants a live a carefree, happy and easy life, to fall in love and have amazing sex and relationships, to look perfect and make money and be popular and well-respected and admired 

"what pain do you want in life? what are you willing to struggle for?" this is a greater determinant of how our lives turn out.

people want to make a boatload of money- but not many want to suffer through 60 hour workweeks, long commutes, obnoxious paperwork and arbitrary corporate hierarchies to escape the confines of an infinite cubicle hell.

Most people want to have great sex and an awesome relationship, but not everyone is willing to go through the tough conversations, the awkward silences, the hurt feelings, and the emotional psychodrama to get there. 

And so they settle. They settle and wonder, "what if?" and with years,morphs into "what else". 

What for? if not for their lowered standards and expectations 20 years prior, then what for?

Happiness requires struggle. It grows from problems.

Real, serious, lifelong fulfillment and meaning have to be earned through the choosing and managing of our struggles. 

The solution lies in the the acceptance and active engagement of that negative experience- not the avoidance of it, not the salvation from it.

People want a partner, a spouse. But you don't end up attracting someone amazing without appreciating the emotional turbulence that comes with weathering rejections, building the sexual tension that never gets released, and staring blankly at a phone that never rings. It's part of the game of love. You cant win if you don't play.

What determines your success isn't "what do you want to enjoy?" the relevant question is, "what pain do you want to sustain?" 

The path to happiness is a path full of shitheaps and shame.

You have to choose something. You can't have a pain-free life. It can't all be roses and unicorns all the time. it's the questions that can change a perspective, a life. It's what defines us and separates s and ultimately brings us together.